My own blog? Really, don’t I need to pass a test or something? Forget it. I’m too busy doing things like drinking and gossiping on my kitchen bar stool to do a test. To get us all started, here is a thought or two which is usually all I can muster in one sitting.
Mission statement:
To entertain, advise, and...
POSTMORTEM
Def. 1) occurring or done after death
Def. 2) of or relating to a medical examination of a dead body
Def. 3) an analysis or review of a finished event
Def: 4) the day or days after the night and/or nights before
The day after the night before is when the I engage in a post mortem as I am not a coroner...
The pinnacle of Suburban living. The yard sale. I’m going to participate this year, because I actually have some items that don’t look like absolute refuse. I know it will be an exercise in frustration though, potentially exacerbated by how many Bloody Mary’s I choke down before the predators arrive.
Times...
Having no filter, no manners and dubious morals at best, my fringe friends and I posture to homemaking and child rearing all while counting down the minutes to happy hour. Collectively my crew is hands down the funniest group of women around. Some of our conversations bear repeating, and I like to share.
The following is...
I’ve recently become a Twitter junkie and now I’m a total bitch about Facebook. My friends can attest to the fact that I was hating FB long before I discovered Twitter. My feelings about it culminated in a a drunken Facebook purge about 1 year ago when I wiped out over 100 of my “friends.” Fucking...
Your kid finds your dildo(s). As some of you may be aware, I am a big fan of preventative measures. A checklist of things you need to do so your kid does not find your drawer booty. Preventative measures people. Preventative measures.
Checklist:
Do not put dildo in bedside table drawer.
That’s...
The holiday season hails the bi-annual visit from the in-law. We have a “she loves me/I cope” relationship. Every year without fail, my husband books her into town and himself out. The fact that he leaves me holding the in-law ball is testament to the relationship they don’t have.
The in-law is a dark...
SUBURBAN FRINGE STRATEGIES
Strategies for the “WHAT IF”
What to do if your kid finds pictures of you giving a blow job.
First off, lets address PREVENTATIVE measures.
Do not do it when the kids are home, then its being caught, which is a whole other ballgame (pun intended). You will have zero alibis...
So you have an “I’ll never drink that again” kind of morning..or afternoon..or life. No worries. The following recipes will help quell the anxiety of feeling so gross you think “hair of the dog” may cause you to projectile vomit all over your Sunday morning family “because there is...
Although I recognize myself as part of a larger, generally blonder tribe, many women do not, and sadly, are left waiting in line at girls-night-out with their lesser cohorts who – simply put – don’t know how to party. These MILFS MISSING IN ACTION, need desperately to be saved. Together with the Suburban...
